Recent polls tell us that we no longer know what love is; we don’t recognise it and cannot work out what it is for. We are “fearful of its complications, perplexed by its obligations, and wish it would simply go away.” In spite of that mournful response the amount of money spent on February 14th on cards, flowers and chocolates, makes it the most expensive celebration next to Christmas.
The history of Valentine’s Day suggests it revolves around Bishop Valentine, a Roman priest who assisted the martyrs during the persecution and who suffered under the rule of Claudius II. The emperor found it difficult to recruit the male populace into joining his military leagues, believing that Roman men were averse to leaving their loved ones or their families. He therefore cancelled all marriages and engagements within the City of Rome.
However Valentine and Saint Marius continued to perform wedding ceremonies in secret. When it was discovered that they were defying the emperor’s decree, Bishop Valentine was apprehended and dispatched by Claudius to the Prefect of Rome who, being unable to force the saint to renounce Christianity, ordered that he be clubbed, stoned and then beheaded.
Some scholars say that during his stay in prison Valentine fell in love with the jailer’s blind daughter (whose name may have been Julia), who used to bring him flowers and notes from children. It is said that the day before his execution on February 14th 269 AD, Valentine prayed for his sweetheart and she regained her eyesight. He also wrote a farewell note to her and signed it “From Your Valentine.” Clearly this phrase has become popular amongst lovers and is still very much in vogue.
Traditions
Hundreds of years ago in England, many children dressed up as adults on Valentine’s Day. They went singing from home to home. One verse they sang was:
Good morning to you, valentine;
Curl your locks as I do mine —
Two before and three behind.
Good morning to you, valentine.
In Wales wooden love spoons were carved and given as gifts on that day. Hearts, keys and keyholes were favourite decorations on the spoons. The decoration meant, “You unlock my heart!”
In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentine would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.
Some people used to believe that if a woman saw a robin flying overhead on Valentine’s Day; it meant she would marry a sailor. If she saw a sparrow, she would marry a poor man and be very happy. If she saw a goldfinch, she would marry a millionaire.
Some time ago a survey revealed that British males are the most miserable in Europe with 35% expressing unhappiness with their lives. The romantic side of their lives is especially highlighted. Nearly half of those males attributed their singleness to a lack of confidence – 40%, to fussiness – 29%, to not being attractive enough – 31%. They thought women expected too much of them and weren’t really interested in forming serious relationships. It seems that they need the spirit of Valentine as never before!
They say that the bones of Valentine were returned to Terni, and that that church receives 50,000 letters a year mostly on relationship problems, but the greatest problem solver is the Holy Spirit who can match-make to perfection. For those who are willing to take His guidance they will find that he chooses the one who both complements and fulfils our natural desires and needs. It is very rare that relationships in marriage are without some strife, but the growing war of the sexes has highlighted the differences and depleted the likenesses to their own loss.
Singleness is escalating as people become bewildered and picky, looking for that mysterious perfect partner only to find they don’t actually exist. People leave it so long now to tie the knot that they are too set in their ways to change, and are encouraged to take that independence to limits that prohibit life-long union. It takes courage, maturity and tolerance to be married. Perhaps these qualities are no longer encouraged in young people as they grow towards adulthood?
