About three weeks ago I wrote an article called Building Philosophy, and mentioned my trip to the Toronto Airport church in 1994. What I didn’t say then I say now, and you may find it interesting. The night of our first visit we were staying in the Constellation Hotel near the church, and got to sleep about midnight. I was suddenly awoken at three-thirty in the morning by God. There was no doubt it was God; my mind was fresh and I was totally awake, and I was being spoken to. Patricia was sound asleep. He said “Speak to your wife in the language of the Song of Solomon.” And that was all. How strange, I thought. Why on earth would I do that at this time of night? And as I mused, it suddenly came to me like a bolt of lightning. I had joked about that book the Sunday before I came to Toronto, and said “It is only read nowadays by schoolboys behind the toilet block, making fun of it.”
But that wasn’t all, I watched my wife go down into death three times with respiratory arrest, and come out again, and was told that she would die by the time she was 50 – she was then 58 and on borrowed time. Because of the impending demise I switched off emotionally so I wouldn’t be hurt when the crisis came. I still loved her and cared for her in the best way possible; my whole energy was for her demands and needs. My love did not fail but it was confined to duty, bottling up my emotions to be safe from hurt. To speak to her in the words of the Song of Solomon, one of the greatest love songs of all time, was, if not impossible, then extremely difficult. My full emotions would be activated and what would happen if after pouring out my soul in these words, she failed physically and died? It had been difficult for her to travel to Canada, and that had been a risk.
I wrestled with it the remainder of the night, and in the morning decided I must do what God commanded. So I made her a cup of tea and gave her medication so the muscles would work, and waited for them to activate. About 30 minutes later I sat on the side of the bed with both of her hands in mine and looking full into her face began to quote Song of Solomon to her – making her the sole object of those words. At first she was amused, and then confused, and then enthralled. By this time I had tears running down my face and she became misty-eyed. I leaned forward and just embraced her gently, and we sat there while time slipped by, loving and being loved. The hidden gulf had been bridged. If God decided to take her home, that was his affair; I knew I could make it on my own. I had faced my giant and had slain him. God knew the perfect remedy. I obeyed, He was in control, and she became smothered in love. From that time till she died in January, she knew that unhesitatingly. In fact she told one of the doctors who visited our home in her final few weeks that I was too fussy over her. Better that than not at all.
I mentioned my encounter to Marc Dupont, the associate pastor of the church, who had become my friend, and explained what had transpired, and he felt that I should give a testimony that day in the evening service. At first I thought it was too personal and it might be throwing pearls before swine, but after prayer thought that it was probably right to do it, so did.
The next morning I was besieged with both young and old couples who came to me who had been so moved by my testimony that they had gone back to their temporary accommodation and put things right in their marriages. It was clear that they hadn’t slept much, but shining with joy – almost like newlyweds! Perhaps it was God’s plan after all to speak to many couples that week in the church. Who knows? He has his ways of doing things. All he looks for is co-operation from ordinary folk submissive to his will and purposes. I was in the right place at the right time, with the right home circumstance to engender guilt, encourage forgiveness and manifest a positive response to genuine love. To sweep away artificial barriers and bring freedom in relationship, safety in openness, and the elimination of fear in honesty. If we are open to God’s word in our lives it’s amazing what he can do. I have no doubt that there are some who will read this and put their marriages right.
